Montage: Anathalie’s Diary
This second part on dark thoughts and the great darkness touches on habits to adopt in the fight against depression as it appears in our lives.
I must admit that I am writing this article as I am going through a period of depression and stress. It’s quite interesting because it allows me to apply my own tips in real time, whereas normally, I tend to write with a much more retrospective approach. Anyways! I hope that these few approaches will help you get through your own challenges.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine confided in me the following:
“Rainbows don’t give me the expected comfort. They actually get on my nerves. How can we think that everything is going to be fine when it’s all out of control? I need something else.”
a friend… let’s call her Daria 😉
Of course, when everything goes “out of control,” simply painting rainbows or thinking positive thoughts are not enough to reassure us or to put a smile back on our faces. Like my friend mentioned, these things can piss us off to the point of cynicism. That’s why I’d like to suggest “something else” to help you fight depression and anxiety when they appear.
Fighting Depression With Spiritual Practices
1) When I get depressed, I lament
When I am sad or depressed, I have learned to lament. Beware! I am talking about the spiritual discipline of lamenting, not the practice of complaining or feeling sorry for oneself. The difference between lamenting and complaining simply lies in whom the words are addressed to and for what purpose. I lament to God in order to share my sorrow with Him, for I trust that He will receive my every word and lift me up. I will eventually write an article about this, but in the meantime, you can read from Mark Vroegop and Joni Eareckson Tada’s book: Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament.
2) When I get depressed, I intercede
Over the past two years, I have noticed something recurring in the answers that God gives me when I am distressed. I noticed that I am often pushed to help others when I myself am very distressed. In fact, the Anathalie’s Diary project was conceived during one of my prayers to God when I asked Him to help me in a personal situation that had absolutely nothing to do with mental health or my past experiences.
It is therefore not uncommon, after shedding several tears, that I call up someone whom I guide spiritually to check up on them and pray with them. To intercede is to take on the burdens of others and to leave these burdens at the feet of the Father for them or with them. In other words, it is to pray for someone else by sharing their pain or even their joy at times. When we intercede, we forget about ourselves in order to focus on the other person. We participate in their joy, their sorrow, their recovery or gratitude. For me, this is an excellent way to fight depression and to feel useful for others.
3) When I get depressed, I pray out loud
Praying is good, but praying out loud is even better, especially when we are depressed. One of the reasons is simple: when we pray out loud, we hear ourselves talking and our minds pay attention to what we are saying. Praying out loud is therefore a way to encourage ourselves, to speak to our soul, and to absorb or realize what we are saying to God when we speak to Him.
Another very important reason to pray out loud when we are depressed is to counter dark thoughts. This is because when we pray within ourselves (silent prayer), it is easier to fall into daydreams or false reasoning, as we can literally occupy our minds with dozens of rambling thoughts at the same time. Thus, praying out loud boosts concentration, it allows us to become aware of what we think/say in our prayers, and it helps hinder the growth of dark thoughts which helps us better fight depression.
4) I meditate to fight depression
The first three tricks, especially lamenting and praying out loud, emphasize what we have to say to God about our pain. This time, it’s about letting God speak to us in the midst of our distress. Christian meditation primarily involves active reading of God’s Word (the Bible). If we want to know with assurance what God has to say to us about what we are going through, we must take the time to read the Bible in order to discover His revelations for us.
The Psalms are an excellent starting point for finding comfort in sadness. Personally, even when I follow a pre-established biblical reading plan, God often finds a way to answer my questions through the accounts that I read as part of that plan. His Word is marvellously comforting.
Moreover, in one of the videos that I made with my friend Véronique Jones as part of the Christian meditation series, we reiterate the importance of being aware of what we are thinking because the thoughts that are continuously ruminating in our minds become the subject of our meditation. Therefore, get into the habit of checking your thoughts, and immediately block the ones that are pulling you down.
5) Sing, dance and praise to fight depression
And what if we danced? I believe that Christians highly underestimate dancing as a spiritual practice. Dancing is, in my opinion, the closest form of expression to the human soul. When we dance with the whole body, our emotions and our spirit unite to express our personality, our feelings. Thus, dancing can become an excellent antidote to fight depression.
Furthermore, a dance offering in the form of worship is a wonderful gift that we can present to God in addition to freeing our bodies from being stuck in the darkness of our thoughts. Praise through singing and reading of the Psalms (out loud) can also enliven our hearts and bring joy to God’s heart.
Follow Leslie Passerino on YouTube or on Instagram to learn more about worship through dance.
Fighting Depression With Healthy Physical and Psychological Habits
1) A healthy mind in a healthy body
This is probably fundamental in terms of mental health. When we feel good in our bodies, we generally also feel good in our heads. Unfortunately, we often neglect the basic principles that promote the conditions for good mental health.
Keep it moving!
Stay active, even during periods of confinement. Exercise at home; use the stairs to increase your heart rate and to activate the muscles in your legs, abdominals, back and arms. Dance, walk, run and feel alive throughout your body!
Eat well (and avoid sugar)
Get into the habit of eating your fill, in a balanced way (fruits and vegetables please!) and avoid eating sugary foods that play a role in mood regulation (beware of mood swings). Try this over a period of 7 to 14 days; you will see that by adopting a healthy diet and cutting down on the amount of sugar you eat, you will feel much better mentally, and you will have much more energy.
Sleep well
Establish a regular sleep schedule. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. If you can’t fall asleep, don’t just stay in bed. Get up and go back to bed when you feel tired. When you have good sleep hygiene, you are much better equipped to fight depression. Also, if you suffer from sleep disorders, don’t hesitate to consult your doctor.
2) Wash Up!
Yes, yes, you read it right! Wash yourself, every day, even when you are sad and don’t feel like it! It’s a small basic step, but it plays an important role in our relationship with ourselves because it pushes us to take care of ourselves.
When I was going through my depression, I spent my days in bed. I stopped eating and… my personal hygiene took a hit. I didn’t have the strength to take care of myself. I didn’t feel like it, but above all, taking care of myself didn’t correspond with the false beliefs I had formed about myself. Indeed, when you believe that you’re not worth it or that you’re invisible, what’s the point of taking care of your personal hygiene?
I believe that when you force yourself to be clean on the outside, it sends a strong message on the inside. It’s a pretty simple trick, but it can really help fight depression. So, wash yourself, style your hair, wear clean clothes, put on some perfume, trim your nails, get rid of unwanted body hair. Value yourself and take care of yourself!
3) Break the Isolation
How do we break isolation in concrete terms? It’s all in the preparation.
Identify a person you trust
First, identify someone in your circle of family and friends who is available to listen to you when you feel down or need to talk. You can openly discuss this with the person before a crisis occurs. This could be a friend, a family member you are close to, a trusted mentor, a therapist, a pastor, a friend from church. In short: identify this person in advance, check with them their availabilities, the best times to reach them by phone, Skype or in person. Make sure that they will be there for you when you need them.
Unfortunately, it is possible for us to be alone and not be able to identify a person in our entourage. In this case, it is possible to call support lines in the area. In addition, some churches provide spiritual direction and pastoral support services for people living in difficult situations. Inform yourself as soon as possible.
Build a healthy routine and stick to it
Second, every morning, get up and make your bed as soon as you wake up. Open the blinds, and let the sunlight flood your room. Don’t stay in bed. Some people will want to pray and/or meditate at this time, or will do so after showering. Others will want to exercise. The important thing is to get the day started, preferably in the morning! Take a shower and eat. Once your morning routine is complete, avoid going back to bed at all costs. AT ALL COSTS!
Set achievable goals for yourself on a daily basis
Set goals for the day, and give yourself the means to achieve them. Plan your schedule realistically. When depression strikes, respond immediately by reaching out to the person that you identified. If the person remains unreachable, turn to one of the tips previously discussed. If you still decide to go back to bed, then set a time limit so that you don’t end up spending the whole day in bed, and keep your phone nearby so that you can answer if your friend returns your call.
Remain available and make sure you can be reached
No matter how you feel, always answer the phone unless the person on the other end depresses you further… Always be available for others… Or at least try to be. Force yourself to answer the phone even when you don’t feel like it. Don’t feel obligated to talk about what’s bothering you, but at least open your heart to what the other person would like to share with you. You might be in for a nice surprise!
4) Go outside/get fresh air
If you REALLY want to, before you go back to bed, consider taking a walk to clear your mind. You can also include walking as part of your daily activities. Above all, don’t stay inside your head. Smile at the people you pass by, and pay attention to what surrounds you: the smells, the buildings, nature, the sensations you feel. Get out of your head!
5) Filter your thoughts
Pay close attention to what you are thinking about at all times. Filter out the negative thoughts, discard them, and replace them with good ones. It takes a lot of discipline, but it’s well worth it.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
PhiL 4 : 8
6) Choose what you look at and listen to
One of the things that can significantly help you renew your thoughts is to be selective in what you see, read and hear. Focus on beauty, joyful or inspiring songs; comedy or spiritual programs. The more you nourish your thoughts with the Word of God and positive content, the less room there will be for dark thoughts.
7) Live in the present
It’s good to occasionally project yourself into the future or to remember the past. However, when we dwell on past mistakes, missed opportunities, or when we are worried sick about events that have yet to happen, we are uselessly wasting our energy. No one knows the future, and we cannot change the past. So learn to live in the present moment; this is certainly one of the key ways to fight depression.
When to Sound the Alarm?
The last two sections focus on the moments of sadness, anxiety and depression that every single one of us may experience throughout the different seasons of our lives. One of the questions I often get asked when I talk about depression is: at what point should we worry about the state of our mental health?
When sadness becomes a permanent state
I think that the sheer act of wondering whether our sadness is turning into an adjustment disorder or into a depression is already a sign that something is wrong. In fact, it is completely normal to feel sadness at times; however, know that sadness is not permanent, it is only transitory. When you are sad, the depression cannot remain at its peak over a long period of time.
Think back to the last time you were sad. Perhaps you will remember that at times you stopped crying, that your mind drifted to less painful memories. Perhaps you even cracked a smile or laughed cheerfully, but then the tears gradually came back. This is normal. However, if you are feeling depressed, and if your mind is tormented, overwhelmed, and you have not been able to feel joy for several days, then it is best to see a doctor.
When you become non-functional
You should also consider consulting a specialist if the depression has taken up so much space in your life that it is preventing you from carrying out your activities efficiently. If, for example, you have difficulty concentrating, have memory blanks, have trouble holding back tears, or on the contrary, you no longer feel anything (like emotional paralysis), consult your doctor. Also, when a simple task such as taking a shower or writing an e-mail of 3 sentences seems like an insurmountable chore, it would be best to consider seeing a mental health specialist.
Let’s Pray
Papa, I give you thanks because despite the sadness, despite the difficulties, You remain in control of all things. You are present, with us, no matter what we may go through or feel. I give You thanks because You can hear everything. I place in Your hands all of the people who suffer from depression, sadness, anguish or anxiety. I pray that you would soothe their souls and comfort them in Your arms. Heal them, and guide their steps in a way that is pleasing to You. In Jesus’ name, amen!
