Trials: Should we Accept Suffering?

Trials: We sometimes tend to apply the same recipe to all of our trials, but God does not work that way. See how you can learn to better respond to trials when they come.

I often encounter people who are going through particularly painful ordeals. In an identical situation that is lived by two different people, it is possible for God to recognize completely distinct issues because the expected outcome differs from person to person. That’s why I never take for granted the way a problem should be faced because the Spirit of God is constantly moving. It acts differently in each person’s life. Moreover, although the circumstances lived by the same person may seem similar, they are actually different from each other because we gradually evolve and change over the course of our lifetime. Therefore, we may approach an identical problem in a completely different way depending on the period in our lives when we encounter it.

I particularly like the following quote from the character of Aslan of Narnia in Prince Caspian:

Things never happen the same way twice.

C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian, p. 153.

We sometimes tend to apply the same recipe or measures to all of our trials, but God does not work that way. It is possible for Him to ask us to strike a rock to release water one time, but then ask us to speak to a rock another time. This is why we must apply discernment, attention, listening and analysis to each one of our trials especially when our suffering pushes us to make impulsive and radical decisions.

From one situation to another, the Spirit of God could encourage us to stay and face the situation; to move away from it or leave; or to not act so that He can manage things in His own way. Whatever strategy the Spirit urges us to adopt, He promises to stay with us under all circumstances.

What Questions Should we ask Ourselves When Trapped in Suffering?

1. What is the source of suffering?

In other words, what causes the pain?

• internal or external conflicts
• a break-up
• an injustice
• loneliness
• a behaviour or attitude
• an uneasy feeling
• a stressful circumstance
• an illness
• a loss of control or autonomy

In short, there can be numerous causes and suffering can stem from multiple sources. Identifying the source is not just about figuring out what caused the pain. It is important to also understand why this trigger makes us so vulnerable.

For example: I am suffering from conflicts with my spouse. Why?

• Because I do not feel understood?
• Because I do not feel valued?
• Because I do not feel loved?
• Because I do not feel respected?
• Because my ego is hurt?

Obviously, this example is very vast because we can have conflicts for so many kinds of reasons. At this stage, you should be able to identify the root causes of your suffering in order to put them into words.

This exercise may require the help of a psychotherapist, a pastor, a spiritual coach, or a trusted friend.

2. Can I fix it?

Once we have determined the root causes of our suffering (our real opponent), we need to figure out how to fix it.

Is the disease curable? Yes/No?

Is there a way to alleviate the pain? Yes/No

Can we reach a consensus? A compromise?

Can I do anything to fix the problem?

The search for a cure may prove to be difficult. Several attempts will be necessary to find the suitable solution. However, we must not give up the desire to solve the problem at its core.

3. Should I Fight, Run Away, or Let God Act?

In certain situations, such as dealing with chronic diseases or complicated marital problems, we often do not find immediate relief from pain. In these cases, we must ask ourselves how to act when faced with these trials that seem insurmountable.

The first thing to do is to act in prayer. Leave your situation in God’s hands and always expect a miracle. Even when everything seems to be going against you, continue to trust in God and hope for a miracle—even if the miracle does not happen as expected or even if it does not take place. Continue to hang on to Him. In any case, He will be your greatest supporter and biggest comforter.

By remaining in His presence, God will tell you what position to take against your opponent. He will let you know whether you need to remain in the situation to face it, whether you need to flee, give up, or if you need to let Him act for you.

Moreover, keep in mind that you are the salt and the light of the world. The light illuminates the darkness and the salt preserves the food by giving it taste. As such, you will face uncomfortable situations where your role will be to bring light to your surroundings or to preserve life wherever you are. You may be called into inconvenient places or harmful environments to shine and to share what you have received from God. Jesus, after driving out the storm on Lake Galilee, took his disciples to an unclean place to save and deliver a demoniac. In doing so, He showed the people who lived in this city that they too could be freed from all forms of captivity (Mark 4:35-41). To shine has a cost: you will be confronted with storms and hostility, but you will never be alone. Jesus will stand be in front of you to calm the storms and to allow your light to draw people to you.

4. What Does Suffering Develop in Me and in Those Around Me?

If God tells you that you should stay to face your situation, it means that the struggle is meant to build your character by creating in you perseverance, strength, and endurance (2 Pet. 1:4-5). Do not allow frustration, bitterness or anger to grow inside of you because God wants to build and refine you. Do not allow the enemy to take over. Instead, let the Holy Spirit strengthen you.

Also, even when God encourages us to flee or to give Him the space to act, this will probably be accompanied by another type of suffering: the wait, the impatience, the loss of control, the feeling of helplessness and of insecurity. In this case, you will also have to rely on the Holy Spirit to help you.

On the other hand, remember that you are not just a free electron. Your ordeals will surely affect your closest family and friends. Therefore, confront your trials while keeping in mind the goal to be an example to those who are watching. Become a living testimony to how Christ makes us triumph over our difficulties. Show the entire world that it is possible to suffer soundly and to come out with your head held high.

5. Should I Seek for a Way to Stop My Suffering?

Erm… YES!

Suffering is essentially an indicator that something is happening and in development. It can be positive like the growth of new teeth, or negative like the appearance of a cavity.

In either case, there are solutions to alleviate the pain. But once again, we need to understand where the pain stems from. In fact, we should not seek to stop the suffering without first understanding the signal that our body has given us. We must try to understand what is going on inside of us, otherwise, everything we do will be a temporary fix and will not actually solve the problem—if there is a problem.

In addition, we should not be suffering uselessly. Unless we have severe allergies or issues with medication, we should take care of ourselves and pray for healing when faced with illness.

Above all, we should never accept abuse, be it psychological, physical, verbal or social. We must either rectify the problem or leave, but never endure the violence inflicted upon us.

6. Why Do We Suffer?

We also need to ask ourselves what has brought us to these trials and tribulations. You see, certain trials are circumstantial or coincidental. Other trials are spiritual in nature. If the latter is the case, then we must equip ourselves with spiritual weapons to face them. Often, we are the instigators of our own suffering either by our disobedience, or by our lack of discernment, or simply by mistake. In any case, it is very important to recognize the part we play in bringing forth the trial so that we can move forward and confess to God. Talking to someone we trust can also help us stay accountable to our commitment to not repeat the same mistakes. As you reflect upon all of this, remember that it is possible to simply be a victim of life’s adversities but that God can take the bad and transform it into good for our sake (Rom. 8:28).

7. What Are my True Motivations for Wanting to Flee Pain?

Do you want to flee pain to avoid the problem?

Do you want to flee due to fear?

Is it due to laziness, impatience, or lack of faith that you want to give up?

Unless God clearly shows you that you need to flee, stay. Fear is not a good counsellor, nor is impatience. If you flee out of fear, you may end up facing the same ordeal repeatedly until you have the guts and the wisdom to face it.

Keep in mind that God gives us conviction and not doubt. If you doubt your choice, do not move forward with it. Anything that does not come from conviction or faith is sin (Rom. 14:23).

Take risks, make mistakes, but do everything with conviction.

Moreover, do not stand still on the pretext that you are waiting for God to reveal His will to you.

Remember these words:

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:8-9 NIV

In other words, if you spend time in the presence of God, meditating on His Word, then you already know His Will. Therefore, unless God clearly tells you to stay still, move! Unless He tells you otherwise, God always expects you to act according to the direction of the Holy Spirit that already dwells in you.

8. What is the Cost of the Trial?

Whether you choose to stay and face the trial or leave, there will always be a price to pay. You might as well assess it. The gains and the losses on both sides can be substantial. This is why I would advise you to assess it alone, to pray on your analysis, and then to discuss it with a person you trust who will be more objective than you to contemplate whether your analysis is fair or not.

In conclusion, for every trial that you will be faced with, there will be a different action to take. Therefore, have discernment and always trust God.